Ron & I have been dating for almost five years (it’s surreal!) and although that may seem such a long time for some people, we have been asked this question a lot recently:
“When are you guys getting married?”
Certainly, we have discussed about the idea of marriage. I guess it’s appropriate that we have a conversation about it since we have been together for a while. We talked about it, debated, gathered ideas, and agreed on a year. However, he did not even pop the question yet!
A part of me thought that I don’t want to get married anytime soon because I like where we are right now: exclusively dating, enjoying each other’s company; scratching each other’s back; leaning on each other for moral support and when things feel like crap. The phrase “getting married” is a huge phrase for me! It means getting myself prepared for the bigger picture of sharing my life with another person, building a home, etc. (you get the gist!).
Okay, I know what others might have thought next (specifically the tsismosas out there): “But you guys live together so you already have a feel of what it’s like?” Well, all couples are different! Ron and I, although lovers, are more of best friends than lovers. We started as friends and our relationship is so easy (you know, “not clinging on each other’s necks and have chains around our hands bossing each other around” type of couple).
“Do you have plans on getting married? What’s the deal between you two?”
We are currently in a place where we decided to focus more on ourselves: developing our weaknesses, utilizing our strengths, focusing on our passions, and working on our dreams. Ron is still pursuing his Bachelor’s degree while I want to teach and become an entrepreneur. Yes, getting married is discussed but it is not a priority at the moment.
Should we feel pressured to marry soon just because most of the people we know in our age cohort is either engaged or married? Do we have to join the bandwagon ASAP? Can’t we just enjoy our lives being legally single (for the nth time, no we are not married yet) and do the things we want like finish school, earn our degrees and be Dora the Explorer and travel the world? Do we have to get married now just because some of our friends who are younger than us are getting married or are already married?
Don’t get me wrong but we are sincerely happy for our friends who decided to tie the knot and settle with a partner to annoy for the rest of their lives. Marriage is a sacred thing. It’s something you really think about, prepare for, and pray about to make sure that you really know what you are going in to. It can be just a piece of paper showing proof that you are one. It takes more than that spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and physically. It takes respect, trust, understanding, commitment, friendship, and faith.
Featured image: © Thinkstock/jacoblund